Rant Day

I just need to rant today. To scream & let it all out of me before it eats me alive from the inside out.

So we moved. My husband was transferred through his job to a different store in another city about 2 + hours away from where we lived. We were given 3 weeks notice about the move...& for about a week and a half of that time I was in Texas visiting my family.

It has been insanely stressful. Trying to find an apartment with limited time that is within his new job's range, within our budget & that allows cats is just alot of stressful work. Not only that but I had to do it from another city & work around my husband's work schedule to be able to drive down and see the apartment. We ended up seeing the apartment and getting it within just a few days. The DH started his new job on the 2nd & we didn't get the keys/sign the paperwork or know our new address even until the 1st...

He stayed at the new place alone for 4 days before he came and got me. One of the big problems with moving so quickly like that is that we didn't have an address to set up gas, electric or cable/internet. So we went 11 days without hot water! And just got our furniture at the same day/time they hooked up our cable on the 14th. Not having hot water is insane. You just take it for granted that you can turn on the faucet and have hot water whenever you need it. I could not take a pure cold water shower. It was way way too cold to even have the water touch ya for more then a moment. I tried sponge bathing it with a wash cloth but then I had to wash my hair finally & I have the thickest hair ever. it takes me forever to wash it. I have to spend a good amount of time trying to get the shampoo out. So I knew this would not be fun lol. I just tried to do it in the bathtub and I think I almost caught hypothermia lol. I was hand shaking - teeth chattering cold. It was NOT fun.

And to make matters worse we do not have AC. And yes I am super pissed. When we came to look at the apartment I specifically asked her if the apartment had AC & she said yes. Turns out though it is broken and doesn't work. Lovely. So it has been super hot our apartment has been like 85-90 degrees. & so we would have loved to just jump in a cool shower but not a just ice cold one lol

On top of all that we didn't have most of our stuff or furniture here with us for two weeks. All we had was a handful of dishes, our most needed bathroom stuff, some clothes, our computers, and an air mattress. We were very bored alot lol. We had games to play on the computers & could watch a handful of movies we had on them. IDK it is usually nice but it seemed when that was all you could do it got boring still lol. Not so much for me I played the sims alot, wrote stuff, and read. But DH was super bored. he had all his games here a huge pile and didn't want to play them pfft lol

The air mattress sucked badly. Perhaps the cats poked a hole in it idk. But it kept losing air. Not like go flat but just enough air to make it feel like a waterbed. Any slight movement made the other person fly around. I almost flew off the bed several times when he would get up lol. We also do not have any curtains or blinds yet. We have to get our own curtain rods and haven;t yet (because my husband is a moron) So it is very bright in the early morning & even at night there are alot of lights outside on the building. We are used to thick black curtains in our old place lol. Overall being in a new place, trying to adjust to the new sounds, dealing with the lights & sleeping on a horrid air mattress made it a bad nights sleep every night. I would wake up every other hour :(

But luckily alot of that is now over with. We have hot water now yay! We got our furniture here, I still have to unpack but thats not too bad. And now obviously we have tv & internet!

But it has been very stressful. Just all that adding up with the extra stress has us on edge for sure. One thing that I am really wanting is to keep this new place clean and organized. Our last place was so so tiny only 550 square feet which is just not enough room for 2 people a ton of furniture and cats & birds. It felt like everything was piled ontop of everything else. All of the stuff in our living room was kindof pushed together so we had a pathway to walk. It was just so cluttered that it made me very stressed. But our new place is huge compared to that. We have 2 bedrooms & more space then we will know what to do with.It just gives me this awww type of moment where I can now declutter and put things out.

My old apartment was never like trashed, I kept it picked up. But I realized during packing that I could have done much better keeping it clean. Like eh move the furniture and clean behind it every now and then lol. It was alot harder there with it all so cramped so now I shouldn't have that problem. I really want to keep this place super clean. I have come to realize that with the cats/birds I just have to vacuum every single day & I need to dust every day. There is just no way around that.

But this all brings me to another issue of stress for me - my husband is a slob. I will clean the house perfectly, everything will be lovely. And as soon as he comes home it is like a tornado blew through leaving a mess in its path. He takes his shoes off in the middle of the floor in front of the door. Never mind that right smack to the right of the door is the nice tile floor where I put our shoes. He would literally have to step one foot over to place them there. Next he takes off his clothes from work and throws them whereever around the living room. Sometimes in one pile, often in a trail across the room. Seriously it isn't like we live in a mansion where you need to put the dirty laundry in another wing of the house. You are probably already headed to the bathroom right when u get home so just pick up the damn clothes and put them in the hamper. Then is the mess in the bathroom- where he doesn't know how to close the shower curtain, we have everything nicely organized along the sink. I use something I put it right back in its spot- easy. He uses something and just sticks it in the middle. Is it really so hard to stick it right back in its spot? And why does he need like 2 washclothes that he leaves soppy and dirty on the sink?

But worst of all is his desk. Within ONE day it will become a huge pile of junk, trash and dirty dishes. I had to put a trashcan right by his desk because he wouldn't get up to throw stuff away. and yet still there will be a pile of dirty tissues and other trash on his desk. and omg do not think that he will actually empty the trash! If I don;t after a while of it being overly full he might take the bag out and set it next to the door. So then our cats can chew a hole in it.... He will set all his papers everywhere on his desk mixed in with the trash so you can't find anything ever. We have had fights where I would get sick of it and pick it up and then he would need something and couldn't find it. But seriously- you can't find anything in that mess anyways. Finally I just got a box and throw all the papers in it. I don't throw any of it away. I hate it but atleast it isn't a mess lol.

I think the worst though is the dirty dishes. I will go to do dishes and have to go out there and check his desk every time because he will have 2 spoons and 4 forks and a cup and maybe even a small pan or plate there. He is the worst with the silverware. There have been times where we have like ran out of forks. I will only be able to find one & then go check under his pile of trash on his desk and find them all. What makes me so mad is that in our old apartment our kitchen was literally smack around the corner from his desk. He could have not even walked just stood up and leaned and been able to toss them into the sink.

I understand he works and I do not. So I don't mind be the sole house cleaner because of that. I will do all the laundry. I will do all the dishes. I will clean the litterboxes, mop & vacuum, & dust, etc... but pick up after your damn self. It doesn't make me your slave. There is no excuse to be a lazy slob and not have any consideration towards me or respect for me or for where we live. It is like one day I am just gonna snap and they will find his dead body stabbed with a dozen forks.

But that isn't all we have been fighting about either. I am a bit sad. I just want nice things. I don't care that we live in an apartment rather then a mansion. But I think we should still try to make it nice. You live here, you are here most of the time, it should look nice. Alot of stress can come from your surroundings. I wanted to get some things, maybe a few pretty little decorations, I want a bookshelf or two, another small table, some of those plastic dresser things to keep all of our papers in for the office & I really really wanted to get rid of our couch and buy a cute little futon instead. I wasn't talking about doing all of this at once. Space it out as we can afford it. We do have the money to use like $20-30 here or there.

 But no he has to be a huge ass about it all. He told me before we moved that we could get rid of the couch and get the futon and now he is saying no. It is $150 which is not bad at all. But he is like it is too much money and I would rather get other things. He wants a flat screen tv when we already have a huge perfect condition tv now. I can not understand the rationale there.

Which brings me to the real issue is my freedom. The first day I was here it was super hot, I was very bored, my husband had to open the next day so had to get up at like 5:30am. We didn't have any food here except for some blueberry muffins I got to bring with us for breakfast. We were meeting with the landlady that morning then after I figured we would go shopping. We ended up not going shopping until like after 9pm. & the entire time in the store he bitched at me to hurry it up because he had to get to bed to get up early. umm hello if we had went when I wanted to we wouldn't have this problem....

I swear sometimes it makes me feel like he will refuse to go shopping just to hold it over me. I can't drive. I am at his whim & under his control. If he doesn't want to go, we don't go. He never takes my situation or feelings into consideration ever.

I am not even saying we have to go right when I want to either. But give me an idea here. Make a plan. It isn't fair to me to say we will go sometime and have me sitting here waiting to go all day long and then when you are ready I have to jump up and stop what I am doing and go.

Things like this is what we fight about the most. My lack of control just kills me. It leaves me feeling not like an equal partner at all. I just have to get my license. ASAP. Being able to drive will relieve so much stress from me. I will go to the store went I want. I will go whereever I want whenever I want. I can go shopping in peace and just buy whatever I want to without having to ask him for every penny.

So there is my stressful rant. I don't know if I feel any better or not lol. But I have to go start to unpack now. Trying to figure out which room I want to tackle first lol