I feel amazing like a star about to burst with joy! I am awesome & i know it! First I am feeling the positivity flow. That is a hard one for me. I have for so long drowned in the negativity. Where everyday I just put myself down. Now I am on a different positive path. Sure I am not perfect and I am sure it will creep back up but I won't let it over take me. Now I fill myself with alot of affirmations. If everyday i fill my head with negativity and putting myself down I start to believe that, so it must work the opposite way as well- if everyday I remind myself how wonderful I am and with positivity it will "stick".
Right now every morning I wake up and while I am brushing my teeth, washing my face etc... I light a candle in the bathroom and look in the mirror & repeat- I am a strong, beautiful, confident Goddess who can take on the world.
*~* Today I did amazing fitness wise. I woke up and my plan was to walk down to the park. About half way to the street I would have to turn on to get there I began to chicken out. Doubt crept in whispering in my head that I was too out of shape and idk big scary fears. But I pushed them aside and without even a clear thought in my head I just found my body going. I turned onto the street and was like ok wow I guess I am doing it!
My body wants it. It may sound strange because I am over weight and sit on my ass all the time. But honestly I LOVE to workout. I love the rush of energy I get. I wanna hike and run and go go go. I really do not think I am lazy, I just think my problem has always been my fears, panic/anxiety issues and depression.
Anyways so I went to the park, and my plan was just to walk to the park then turn and go home. Small baby steps as I haven't worked out in forever. I was just well afraid as normal and didn't want to push myself too hard. Well I felt great when i got there, sat down on a bench and just enjoyed the park for maybe 5-10 mins then began to walk the track. The track is 1/4 a mile each loop.
I felt on fire. I liked my pace. I was all positive and thinking about how I could keep doing this and how I will start to run and how great that would be.
But at the start of my third loop it was rough. To begin with I woke up and rushed to leave this morning because I slept a bit late and in my rush didn't have a thing to drink at all that morning- eek. So when I got to the park I was already thirsty but as I walked my throat began to feel like it was on fire and I felt a bit meh. I really wished I had a drink. And ofcourse the park doesn't have bathrooms or a water fountain - lame.
My legs also began to burn a bit so I finished and decided to go home.
But it was amazing I walked 2.78 miles for a total of 63 mins. I think my pace is a bit slow. But I will build up!
And I am learning alot. I have a huge issue with as soon as I set out walking way way too fast and then my muscles cry and I kill myself. I need to start off with a very slow walk to wake up I think. When i do then I go farther and last longer and am not in pain.
Secondly I have learned not to just stop walking. When I stop, I first walk a bit slower then stretch. No more pain!
Now I just need to figure out if I want to bring a water bottle or just make sure to drink well before and after my walks. TMI- I have a tiny bladder and don't want to be out walking and have to pee lol.
*~* Diet wise, well today begins my diet officially. I will track all that I eat and stay on plan and eat healthy. It is a bit scary. i know I can do it though. It is difficult and I have to be vigilant & strong but I can do it.
*~* Also today I have to take my youngest cat, Kit to the vet. He is just getting a checkup today so he can get neutered soon. It is so expensive and we don't have a ton of money going into the holidays meh. But I like this vet and he really needs some snipping because he has become a holy terror to the other cats, thank god he hasn't started marking yet. The last vet I went to was completely horrid though & it put me through so much stress that even though this is a different vet I am still on edge.
Also today and tomorrow my plan is to finish moving the furniture & get all the rest of the trash out so it is all finished. Now my husband said he would help, but he is the worst about these kind of things. I am going to have to nag, and he won't feel like it. And then I will be pissy.
I don't like waiting until the last minute to do things, if you can't tell I tend to over think & worry about things lol. If it is all taken care of then I can relax. Well we don't have alot of time until his friend moves in and this all has to be finished. next week is my husbands birthday & thanksgiving which we will be out of town for 2 days. So I want to get it done now so if I don't like how the furniture is at I can change it or if something doesn't work right I can fix it.
I can do it all myself. Nothing is too heavy that I can't drag easily. The couch is the only big item to move and I can push it to a different spot in the same room easy. The desks are both super light. The only thing I am not sure I could do is figure out how to hookup the internet and cable in different rooms. So I wanted his help mostly for that.
So I am praying that he is actually helpful.
lastly my other stresser are my candles. I want to open my candle business this week. I really want to get it up for christmas orders. It is a bit of work but I know my real issue is pure fear. I can't let myself succumb to fear. I love my candles, I am so proud of them. I know my tart candle melts are absolutely amazing. My packaging and labels are cute. I can so do this! But it is a whole new frontier and new stuff is scary. I just dont want to fail, I don't want to be the only one who likes my candles lol. I put so so much money that we didn't have into this. I just keep telling myself that I know my stuff is great and that this is my passion and my dream and that is what matters.
So yeah the end of this month is insanely busy and stressful- DH's birthday, thanksgiving, thinking towards christmas, opening my business, some dude moving in with us, and on top of it staying on plan with diet & exercise. lol
Right now every morning I wake up and while I am brushing my teeth, washing my face etc... I light a candle in the bathroom and look in the mirror & repeat- I am a strong, beautiful, confident Goddess who can take on the world.
*~* Today I did amazing fitness wise. I woke up and my plan was to walk down to the park. About half way to the street I would have to turn on to get there I began to chicken out. Doubt crept in whispering in my head that I was too out of shape and idk big scary fears. But I pushed them aside and without even a clear thought in my head I just found my body going. I turned onto the street and was like ok wow I guess I am doing it!
My body wants it. It may sound strange because I am over weight and sit on my ass all the time. But honestly I LOVE to workout. I love the rush of energy I get. I wanna hike and run and go go go. I really do not think I am lazy, I just think my problem has always been my fears, panic/anxiety issues and depression.
Anyways so I went to the park, and my plan was just to walk to the park then turn and go home. Small baby steps as I haven't worked out in forever. I was just well afraid as normal and didn't want to push myself too hard. Well I felt great when i got there, sat down on a bench and just enjoyed the park for maybe 5-10 mins then began to walk the track. The track is 1/4 a mile each loop.
I felt on fire. I liked my pace. I was all positive and thinking about how I could keep doing this and how I will start to run and how great that would be.
But at the start of my third loop it was rough. To begin with I woke up and rushed to leave this morning because I slept a bit late and in my rush didn't have a thing to drink at all that morning- eek. So when I got to the park I was already thirsty but as I walked my throat began to feel like it was on fire and I felt a bit meh. I really wished I had a drink. And ofcourse the park doesn't have bathrooms or a water fountain - lame.
My legs also began to burn a bit so I finished and decided to go home.
But it was amazing I walked 2.78 miles for a total of 63 mins. I think my pace is a bit slow. But I will build up!
And I am learning alot. I have a huge issue with as soon as I set out walking way way too fast and then my muscles cry and I kill myself. I need to start off with a very slow walk to wake up I think. When i do then I go farther and last longer and am not in pain.
Secondly I have learned not to just stop walking. When I stop, I first walk a bit slower then stretch. No more pain!
Now I just need to figure out if I want to bring a water bottle or just make sure to drink well before and after my walks. TMI- I have a tiny bladder and don't want to be out walking and have to pee lol.
*~* Diet wise, well today begins my diet officially. I will track all that I eat and stay on plan and eat healthy. It is a bit scary. i know I can do it though. It is difficult and I have to be vigilant & strong but I can do it.
*~* Also today I have to take my youngest cat, Kit to the vet. He is just getting a checkup today so he can get neutered soon. It is so expensive and we don't have a ton of money going into the holidays meh. But I like this vet and he really needs some snipping because he has become a holy terror to the other cats, thank god he hasn't started marking yet. The last vet I went to was completely horrid though & it put me through so much stress that even though this is a different vet I am still on edge.
Also today and tomorrow my plan is to finish moving the furniture & get all the rest of the trash out so it is all finished. Now my husband said he would help, but he is the worst about these kind of things. I am going to have to nag, and he won't feel like it. And then I will be pissy.
I don't like waiting until the last minute to do things, if you can't tell I tend to over think & worry about things lol. If it is all taken care of then I can relax. Well we don't have alot of time until his friend moves in and this all has to be finished. next week is my husbands birthday & thanksgiving which we will be out of town for 2 days. So I want to get it done now so if I don't like how the furniture is at I can change it or if something doesn't work right I can fix it.
I can do it all myself. Nothing is too heavy that I can't drag easily. The couch is the only big item to move and I can push it to a different spot in the same room easy. The desks are both super light. The only thing I am not sure I could do is figure out how to hookup the internet and cable in different rooms. So I wanted his help mostly for that.
So I am praying that he is actually helpful.
lastly my other stresser are my candles. I want to open my candle business this week. I really want to get it up for christmas orders. It is a bit of work but I know my real issue is pure fear. I can't let myself succumb to fear. I love my candles, I am so proud of them. I know my tart candle melts are absolutely amazing. My packaging and labels are cute. I can so do this! But it is a whole new frontier and new stuff is scary. I just dont want to fail, I don't want to be the only one who likes my candles lol. I put so so much money that we didn't have into this. I just keep telling myself that I know my stuff is great and that this is my passion and my dream and that is what matters.
So yeah the end of this month is insanely busy and stressful- DH's birthday, thanksgiving, thinking towards christmas, opening my business, some dude moving in with us, and on top of it staying on plan with diet & exercise. lol
