Day #5 busy little bee

Today is my husband's day off and I am always afraid that it will totally screw up my schedule but so far so good! I woke up and walked & felt awesome. I am getting way good with all my stretches. I long to be just awesomely ah-ma-zing at yoga but so far I haven't lol. Alot of stuff I just can not do and I worry about the right form. I have a video and look online but I wish I could take a class though yeah right like I would lol. But I am slowly trying to add in stuff. I do the sun salutation, cat/cow and warrior.

Oh how I wish:

I had oatmeal for breakfast, though I almost always eat oatmeal for breakfast lol. With frozen strawberries today my fav! I also started drinking tea every morning with breakfast. Today & yesterday was green tea with orange. Very yummy. I also bought stevia packets for my tea. I just have to have my tea lightly sweetened. I only use alittle. It tastes like real sugar to me lol. I was alittle bit wary of using fake stuff but I think stevia is one of the better ones? eh I hope so lol.

Yesterday I got alot done but didn't at the same time lol. I needed to clean house and dye my hair and didnt get either of those done. But I did work on my website, finished all my banners, got almost all the candle pics done. The day just flew right by.

As soon as I finish my tea and get off of the computer I am going to go dye my hair and then take a few candle pics and then....start listing my candles online for sale. I am so nervous and excited. I am proud of my stuff that is why it took so long to get started I wouldnt until they were awesome and just right. My tarts smell so perfect I use and love them! I am still having wick issues with my larger candles which is ok I am not going to start selling them yet but I can still sell the others and keep adding new stuff.

I think my biggest issue is just that I spent so so so much money on this. Money we didn't really have. Alot of it was used just on testing and on things that didn't work right. And it felt like money wasted. I keep telling myself that as long as I love it and keep having this passion for it then it can't fail. If I sell only one candle and it is to my family well I still put myself out there and I will just keep trying. My dream is for it to be my full time job where I make real money off of it. But I am also trying to keep myself reeled in. I know most people do not make that kind of money and even the ones that do it usually takes a long while before they do.

I do love it though. As scary as it is I am still glad I am doing this. I just kindof drifted without really having any plan of what I wanted to do and now I have this and it gives me some purpose. If anything it was worth that.

Plus I think I finally got the pics looking right :)

On the negative side of my day, my husband is driving me batty. I never get to see him it feels like because he works so much and then when he is home he sleeps. When I decided to start getting up at 6am I knew I needed sleep and counted the hours back and made sure I had a set bedtime where I would be getting 8 beautiful hours of sleep. He on the other hand gets maybe 6 usually. He gets up at 5:45am and is not going to be until 11-1am....

So when he gets home he is exhausted and either just goes and takes a nap or falls asleep in the chair for almost the entire rest of the day. Yesterday as soon as he got home he went and took a nap and got up when I woke him up because I was going to bed at 10pm!!

I tried telling him this a million times that he needs to go to bed early. He would feel better at work if he had real sleep, he is going to kill himself running on empty. Plus he wouldn't be so cranky. And hey I would actually like to see him sometimes. But he just says 6 hours is enough... and that he doesn't want to feel like as soon as he gets home he only has a few hours and then has to go to bed. But if he just falls asleep & sleeps the day away how is that any different? I think it is worse because sometimes he can end up really napping for the whole day atleast with a bedtime he would have set hours to go by.

But he doesn't listen. It just upsets me.

Day 2 - Overslept

Day #2...So two days in on my new routine and plan and both days I have screwed up. sigh...this is NOT a good start.

I am disappointed in myself but I am still trying to stay positive and see all the good things I am doing. I am not completely screwing up. And I can improve and do better. Just have to take one day at a time.

So this morning I overslept by 3 hours, yuck! I slept pretty bad & woke up at 4am too hot and had a rough time getting back to sleep. Then I woke up to shut off the alarm but felt so tired and then apparently my husband was up and in the shower. And it put me in a mood I guess. I assumed he would have already left by then so it was kindof weird. And while it would have shifted my schedule back alittle bit there was no reason for me not to get up. I just didn't :(

Pomegranate & Almond Oatmeal

Waking up late really messed up my whole day. I ate breakfast late then lunch late. But on the positive I did get some house work done, some candles done and took some candle pics that I am happy with.

Diet wise I did ok. Not great but within my range.

I made oatmeal last night and heated it up this morning. I added pomegranates & almonds & it was delish! I even felt super creative because I thought of adding them on my own. I actually never even had a pomegranate before, it was good but wow very very sweet.


 For fitness I am kindof feeling a bit lost. Today was my strength day and I did some stuff with my dumbbells & spent alot of time looking on spark.com for stuff to do but went away feeling still pretty lost. I need a simple strength workout that I can do in my bedroom, because when we get our roommate I don't want to workout in the living room where someone can see me lol. So that means no videos.


I am trying to remind myself that this is not some overnight, wave a magic wand and I just do everything perfectly. I am making huge changes, trying to create new habits. It is going to not happen overnight or in a couple days or even weeks. I will need to learn how to make this work even on bad days.

But I know I will get better at it all. Tomorrow will be a brand new day.
 

A rough day but positive

My day was almost evenly split between some good and some bad choices.

On the good side-

• I woke up early this morning and followed my schedule really well! Which btw I love my new schedule plan, it works perfectly to keep me focused and not getting side tracked. I don't want to wonder aimlessly. My day having purpose means things get done.
• I did great exercise wise- I walked almost 2 1/2 miles. It felt great. It was so cold outside this morning though. I need to remember next time to bring my gloves!
• I got ALOT done today. I cleaned house, just like it was on my schedule. I also made some candles. Not as many as I wanted but every bit helps.

On the bad side-
I went way over my calories :( Peanut butter you are an evil mistress! Thank the Goddess for food tracking, at least I can learn from my mistakes.

To start with I had a fairly big breakfast. It was a delicious zucchini & spinach omelette. I really loved it. And I really suck at making omelettes but I almost did it right lol. 545 calories, 47 carbs (in my normal range barely), 25 fat & 32 protein. Besides carbs I was way way over on everything for breakfast. Mostly fat when my normal should have been between 10-13. The culprit? Butter mostly.

What can I do better next time?
Well I could make my omelette with one whole egg & one white. I can stick to one piece of toast and not two & less butter. I usually buy light butter but this time they didn't have any so I got a different one.

Lunch wasn't bad calories wise but a bit high in fat too. I ate a salad kit which I am addicted to lol

I tried a new recipe today- Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Zucchini Brownie Bread, calories- 291, carbs-45,  fat-14, protein-5. Not horrid for one slice & i was a good girl and just tried one. It was good but I don't think I cooked it long enough.

The real issue was unplanned snacking... namely peanut butter. I just was craving it so so badly. And one spoonful turned into three.... for 570 calories and 48 fat. :(

So yeah I am a bit disappointed in myself. But at the same time I realized right away, tracked it and then didn't eat continue to eat which would have really made my calories go nuts.

Tomorrow will be better :)

Todays Weigh In 4/22

Well lately things have been up & down. Some positive things along with some more negative things.

First the negative to get it out of the way lol. I haven't really been paying alot of attention to my diet or exercise. I am very unfocused and not really trying much. I also ordered pizza & had an argument with myself over it and had some guilt, anger, negativity spawn from that. But I can acknowledge this and improve! This is a new week and I can do better.

On the positive side there is alot! First woohoo! I lost 1.8lbs this week. & that was with not doing great with the diet or exercise so yay there.

I have also been way less stressed out. I am really reconnecting with my spirituality and learning to be more positive. I tell myself everyday good, positive, affirmations. And whenever the negativity begins to creep in I drown it out with the positive. Even if all I can do is say over and over that I am loved.

I am beginning to realize the negativity and pay attention to how it is and when it pops up. I would berate myself and put myself down so much. And now when those thoughts begin I can see that I am just being negative and stop them.

It isn't all fixed and it is all still a struggle but I am headed in the right direction and I feel good.

I have also tried greek yogurt finally. I kept wanting to but put it off- new things are scary lol. It kindof reminds me in look, texture? of Sour cream. I hate sour cream. Like just the thought of it is just eww. I don't want to touch it even lol. IDK why...I am just weird. So it kindof freaked my mind out lol but it was really yummy actually. So yay!

On that same note of my weirdness, I had been craving hard boiled eggs & egg salad lately. Probably because of Easter & i didn't get any eggs during all of easter so that sucked. So last night I attempted to make egg salad. First off I hate making eggs, I always feel that I won't cook them well enough. Also I hate mayonnaise. Not just hate it I loathe it and do not even want to be in the same room as it lol. The smell, the look, it just makes me nauseous. Again yes I am a weird person lol.

But knowing that I am uncomfortable making eggs, and that I hate mayo why or why did I want to make egg salad??

No it didn't turn out well lol. It wasn't horrid either but I won't do that again lol.

Anyways- I am reaffirming my goals:

• Meditate daily
• pay attention to what I eat
• focus on smaller portions/eat slower
• eat fruits & veggies daily- with every meal
• exercise!