Ok So I am scared. I am panicing and freaking out and I haven't actually done anything yet even lol. I log into spark today and spin my wheel and see a little link to join the Trick or Treat 5k Trot. Looks interesting. I join!!
Ok so what is so scary about that? Well I am out of shape again so there is that. And that it means I am going to go outside to walk. I have panic attacks taking out the trash. It is hard for me to leave my apartment. But before when I was doing good I was walking alot, every week. And then it all fell apart and I went back to staying inside.
So this is a HUGE step for me and it plays on so many levels for me. And idk if I am ready at all. But screw it all I am just gonna do it. Maybe just throwing myself into the deep end will spark something for me.
My husband opens twice a week I think. So if I get up at like 6am with him and walk it will help since there won't be alot of people out and it will make me feel more comfortable. Atleast for now.
yay I am excited :)
Ok anyways yesterday didn't go so well. I had a hard time getting around to working out. In truth I was just letting myself fill up with excuses and distractions because I didn't feel like it. I am at this point where I just don't wanna lol I hate that. Because I remember working out all the time and how good it felt and how much I do love it. I just need to get over this hurdle to get back to that spot. It will take time but in the mean time i just need to push myself and JUST DO IT!
Eating has been alittle umm not well. I am not binging but I am not focused and all over the place and not eating my veggies.
lasty I kindof blew off my bedtime last night. DH was stressing me out being an inconsiderate jerk. I got mad and upset and ended up staying up till 3am. And then slept until 1:30pm.... yeah that sucks. I know that I won't be able to do this if I keep letting myself do stuff like that. It is all about choices and I have to make the right ones for myself.
Ok so what is so scary about that? Well I am out of shape again so there is that. And that it means I am going to go outside to walk. I have panic attacks taking out the trash. It is hard for me to leave my apartment. But before when I was doing good I was walking alot, every week. And then it all fell apart and I went back to staying inside.
So this is a HUGE step for me and it plays on so many levels for me. And idk if I am ready at all. But screw it all I am just gonna do it. Maybe just throwing myself into the deep end will spark something for me.
My husband opens twice a week I think. So if I get up at like 6am with him and walk it will help since there won't be alot of people out and it will make me feel more comfortable. Atleast for now.
yay I am excited :)
Ok anyways yesterday didn't go so well. I had a hard time getting around to working out. In truth I was just letting myself fill up with excuses and distractions because I didn't feel like it. I am at this point where I just don't wanna lol I hate that. Because I remember working out all the time and how good it felt and how much I do love it. I just need to get over this hurdle to get back to that spot. It will take time but in the mean time i just need to push myself and JUST DO IT!
Eating has been alittle umm not well. I am not binging but I am not focused and all over the place and not eating my veggies.
lasty I kindof blew off my bedtime last night. DH was stressing me out being an inconsiderate jerk. I got mad and upset and ended up staying up till 3am. And then slept until 1:30pm.... yeah that sucks. I know that I won't be able to do this if I keep letting myself do stuff like that. It is all about choices and I have to make the right ones for myself.
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